Honest Musings: Letter to myself.

Dear Nsatu,

It’s a Monday morning as I write this letter- around 7am on July 19th 2021. I am currently sitting at my study desk, I have been up for the past 4hours, getting some work done and listening to sermons and worship.

I do not know the direction this letter will take or whether it will be published or left in drafts. But I am compelled to write, so I will.

You’re currently at a stage in life that is very paradoxical. Things are going extremely great and extremely tragic in a frighteningly simultaneous manner. The past years haven’t been any easier too, but you are a tough girl- always have and always will be.

In this space, you have committed to re-ignite your relationship with God and I couldn’t be more proud of you. I believe there are seasons that can only be understood, survived and appreciated in the presence of the Lord. Infact, I believe ALL seasons can only be understood, survived and appreciated in the presence of the Lord.

You have been writing more consistently this year as you promised to do at the beginning. I am proud of your commitment. I am especially proud of the perseverance even on days when you would rather cave in and allow the wave of writer’s block to swipe over.

As you lose and find yourself in words, I hope letters such as this one serve as the needed view of the transition you have had when getting to the place you desire to be.

With God by your side, nothing will be impossible (Luke 1:37)

I pray you look (read) back on moments such as this one and see growth, resilience, humility, learnt lessons, love, joy and peace in the journey.

I pray you learn to appreciate both the highs and low.

I pray you understand that it’s okay to be flawed and imperfect as there is not one without sin but it is God who forgives and cleanses us.

1 John 1:8-10

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar, and His word is not in us.

I pray you learn from your mistakes and be intentional about being better.

I pray you resist the urge to redefine who you are or dilute your identity and self perception with the words of others.

I pray you remember you are who God says you are- above all else.

I pray you see the beauty in your scars.

I pray you see clarity in your confusion.

And above all, I pray you find your peace.

Love you always,

5 thoughts on “Honest Musings: Letter to myself.”

  1. Love you are as strong as a roaring lion in the jungle. Keep your head to high and I love how you prioritise your relationship with God. Let Him direct your paths. Sit back and watch as your dreams unfolds. May God answer all your secret prayers.


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