My mind and I are in a never ending war. It’s like my life is a miniature battle field. Some days, I triumph over it. Successfully reclaiming my sanity, calm and peace. Some days it wins our wars, pushing me to the edge and making me feel things I would rather not.
When does the cycle end though? I always wonder. Will there ever be a time when my happiness is not flavoured with random, intense waves of unexpected sadness? Is it something I should accommodate as “a part of my journey”? – these thoughts constantly flood my mind and the answers are lost on me.
But still, I sigh. Just kidding. I rise….. I guess. lol.
I am a fighter not a quitter. So, every time my mind wages war, I get in the ring and put up my best fight.
I am also one to allow myself to feel, so I live through the waves and this minimizes the risk of experiencing compound, complex lows which I may fail to overcome.
Writing is one of my ways to fight my mind, like right now. A random interlude on a working night to declutter my thoughts.
I hope it gets better eventually. My therapist commends my efforts in attempting wear my heart on my sleeves- I guess that counts for something.
What’s the point of masquerading and appearing to be perfect in an imperfect world?
Anyway, I’ll end here. (now to think of a title for this random blog lol)
If you’ve read this far, please send good vibes my way. (: